Friday, March 16, 2012

The cost of fertility.

Of my $15,000 lifetime cap on fertility treatments through my insurance, I have used $13,942.

I've gotten A LOT for my money, considering I thought it would only cover one round of IVF and it actually covered three, so I think I've gotten my money's worth. No baby, but not for lack of trying.

Monday, March 5, 2012

The test was negative.

Putting together a new plan. Including acupuncture and our frozen embryos. Trying to figure out the next right thing and move forward.

Sunday, March 4, 2012

Blood has been drawn.

I'm having a rough time of it this weekend.

I felt like total shit all week. Headaches, tender breasts, having to pee all the time, exhausted. Then yesterday I woke up feeling totally normal. No breast tenderness, no headache. And started lightly spotting yesterday afternoon. The same really distinct feeling of suddenly feeling "normal" happened last time too. Like black and white, overnight.

Trying to remain positive.

Friday, March 2, 2012

I've had a headache since Tuesday. It is worse at night/after work. I've been having a hell of a time sleeping. Haven't taken any pain killers - even though Tylenol is relatively safe. I've been putting the heating pad on my face, that helps a little.

I get this same headache right before I get my period so maybe having it for days and days is a good sign.

I've been drinking an assload of water to try and keep well hydrated (dehydration = another reason for headaches). I drank so much water last night that I had to get up and pee 5 times during the night.

If I'm not pregnant, there is a good chance I'll get a Great Dane.


Thursday, March 1, 2012

Pregnancy test is scheduled for Sunday.

Weird symptom of the day: gross night sweats. Could be caused by the estrogen patches or progesterone vaginal inserts.

Absolutely no strange discharge or spotting this time around.
 
Running out of the progesterone vaginal inserts. At $150 a box (a week's supply) I'm going to wait as long as possible before I order more.

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

At this stage in the game it is impossible not to totally freak out at every cramp, twinge, mystery pain or possible symptom. Am I more fatigued than normal? Could this stiff neck be some sort of weird pregnancy symptom? Am I drinking enough water? Was I too active over the weekend? Did I feel weird cramping last time? There is literally NOTHING I can do at this point but just sit and wait. But that isn't keeping me from dissecting every moment of the day. Last time I was totally shocked when they told me the test was positive because I had convinced myself that I couldn't possibly be knocked up because I didn't feel anything (other than a little tired, but I'm always a little tired). You would think I would take that experience and learn from it, but no, I haven't. Patience is not a strong suit of mine, especially in this circumstance....

Monday, February 27, 2012

I'm back at work today.

My pregnancy test is scheduled for early next week.

In the meantime, there really isn't anything I can do but sit and wait. I'm avoiding excessive caffeine, intercourse, heavy lifting, vigorous exercise, baths. I've been talking to the embryos and getting in a lot of cuddle time with Chris and the dogs to give them warmth and loving vibes.

I'm just trying to take it easy and remain positive.

Sunday, February 26, 2012

Friday was the embryo transfer. We decided to go with 5 embryos and they were all very good quality, one was even hatching already (which the doctor was very pleased about). I took the day off work and Chris came with me to the appointment. It was less dramatic/emotional than last time, there was more laughing, less crying.

My definition of 'bed rest' has been a bit lax this time around. Chris and I went out for about an hour last night and today I've been puttering around the house, doing dishes, laundry and refolding everything in the linen cabinet.

I feel relatively positive this time around.

Now we wait.

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Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Egg retrieval was Sunday. It was brutal. The pain when I woke up was overwhelming and we rolled right into another bout of OHSS. I slept all day on Sunday and through the night on Sunday. I ended up staying home on Monday because I was in so much pain that Chris forbid me from going to work. As long as I stay still, it is fine - but the more movement I attempt, the more it hurts. I'm at work today and I'm uncomfortable and bloated (I look like I'm already really really pregnant) but otherwise I'm managing ok.

The good news is that we got 24 eggs. 17 were mature and 2 were borderline. I got a call from the doctor yesterday and he said that we had 16 that did very well during fertilization. I should hear from them again today with an update on cell division.

Other than feeling like hammered shit, I'm really happy and positive.

Friday, February 17, 2012

My final ultrasound went well. The doctor said he is really happy about how many follicles I have but he was reluctant to get too excited because he didn't want to jinx it. He said he expects 20-30 eggs, My doctor is so cool. I love him.

Egg retrieval is Sunday morning.

I feel bloated and exhausted. Lather, rinse, repeat.

Thursday, February 16, 2012

The Ganirelix crisis was narrowly avoided. They were able to find me one injection locally for last night's injection and we got another one shipped to me today from New Jersey. The folks at the pharmacy in New Jersey were amazing and so helpful and managed to get the package onto the last truck last night.

Other than the unexpected $250.16 price tag, everything is A-OK.

Feeling bloated, exhausted and having some fleeting abdominal pain. Tomorrow - ultrasound.

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Hit a bit of a snag this evening. The doctor told me to start the Ganirelix tomorrow - problem is, I don't have any Ganirelix.

Otherwise things are moving along as planned. My estrogen level is up at 1700+ and we are on track for the egg retrieval on Sunday.

A lot of abundant fertile cervical mucus (caused by the high estrogen levels).  Three cheers for abundant spinnbarkeit.

Monday, February 13, 2012

This cycle hasn't been the easiest.

I started bleeding heavily on day 2 or 3 of the injections and that made me feel yucky and anxious. Luckily the doctor says my uterus looks good and told me not to worry, but up until that moment, I'd been pretty worried. Especially with the cost of the medication ($2300+) I can't really afford to do this again so giving up mid-cycle would be financially difficult. A couple of people have suggested that I do a KickStarter campaign to raise funds but I find the whole idea distasteful. I have insurance, it is covering the vast majority of the cost of the IVF cycles ($10,000+ per cycle) and I have a steady job that pays well, the only major financial burden has been the medication and I have the means to repay it in a number of ways. So I'm happy to shoulder this burden alone without asking for handouts.

Overall, I've just been feeling really fatigued. My gumption level is low. With the injections being pushed back by 4+ days, looks like the egg retrieval will be this weekend, which works well with my new job and may push the embryo transfer to the following weekend, which would also work with my job, as I might be able to do the bed rest without taking any time off. I wasn't planning on doing all 3 days of bed rest this time - my job is sedentary enough that I shouldn't be in any danger. Taking another 3 days off work - especially with the new job - isn't really an option this time, and there is no medical necessity for it, really. So... yeah.

Tonight we go to see Thee Silver Mt. Zion, tomorrow is a free of any medical stuff and then I go back for another ultrasound and blood draw on Wednesday.

And we march forward towards whatever awaits us...

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

So, on 11/22/11 we had a positive pregnancy test (39 HcG). The second HcG test on 11/24 was promising (82 HcG) but the ultrasound on 12/10 showed an empty yolk sac and no fetus. It was, in a word, devastating. I wasn't surprised through - as during the time between 11/22 and 12/10 I had had a variety of strange discharges and had gone from feeling exhausted and bloated to feeling nothing/normal. The pregnancy passed a few days later (after I stopped the progesterone vaginal inserts and the estrogen patches). As expected it was a brutal period - crazy bleeding, more pain than expected and a pretty serious case of the blues.

But, we're back on the horse as of this morning. I started the injections today. We had to postpone the start of the injections a few days due to an elevated estrogen level on my first blood test. This will push the whole process back by a few days so I'm unsure when my egg retrieval will be. I have my first ultrasound this weekend so I'll get an updated calendar then. In the meantime, today I'm feeling tired and headachy, but otherwise none the worse for the wear.

Crossing fingers and toes.